I found myself not being able to recall his face anymore. It had been over 1 month or 2 months almost since we last talked. All the lasts were taking place without us knowing it was our last times doing them- last call, last text, last email. Was it last night or this morning that I was thinking to myself he’s becoming a Tu** – the ex before him. I was so hurt, broken, mad and disappointed and I grieved for such a beautiful time that we had together which ended the ugliest way possible. The amount of unhealed traumas and shadow work required for that relationship to survive apparently outweighed our effort of reconnecting.
However, the thought of forgiving him again and continuing this insane connection seemed outrageous. Yet the thought was there.
I felt devastated knowing this time there’s no coming back.